Check out the links below for a more in depth view into the brains behind this magnificently juvenile yet enormously egocentric operation. 

Drivers:

Rich DeLong

Mike Wells

Technologist:

Elle McPherson

Rich DeLong
Age: 32
Nationality: American
Residence: Utah / Elkart Lake / Indianapolis / Alta

Born with the notion that one day everyone would be as good as him. Discovered, at age 10, that most were already better.

Became North American Yo-Yo champion at age 7, which led to a promising career designing dampers for grocery carts.

Shortly thereafter became employed by Roger Peneske designing and manufacturing "Cush Glide" springs for golf carts. With the millions Peneske and DeLong made from the "Cush Glide" springs, and the resulting connections with motorsports moguls, they pursued total domination of the sport. Roger was once quoted as saying, "I won't rest until every motorsports team has a fast reliable golf cart". That he did. And the sport thanked him by naming a racing series after his passion, "CART". This all of course paved the way for Rich to become involved in automobile racing. 

After marginal performances in a 1976 Orange Vega on interstate off ramps, Rich decided that Formula One was the only 4 wheeled challenge left to conquer. Long time friend and golfing partner Nigel Lukslyka Manseal invited Rich to a formal test session at Silverstone were he hi-jacked the attention of everyone within 50 meters of the racing surface as he made his way around the circuit. Immediately after he asked (begged) to join the newly formed Heineken team. 

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Mike Wells
Age: 31
Nationality: Canadian
Residence: Ottawa / Monaco / Caribbean / Brookfield Diner (for the breakfast special, ps. don't drink the coffee) 

Abdicated the British Royal Throne at the age of three. Too stuffy and too SILLY! Besides it seriously cut into my quality television and toy time.

Won the Nobel Prize for Chemistry with the timely discovery of Aspirin. "Look, I said to the pharmacist, it's sitting right their on the shelf! For god's sakes hurry up I've got a throbbing hangover."

Challenged the Pope in St. Peter's Basilica in 1992 to "Speak up you lecherous heathen and take that silly birdhouse off your head!" Was muscled off the grounds by Miss O'Brien's Immaculate Conception Separate School's 4th grade theology class. Butt kissers. 

Invented standard time. Always late for appointments, so recalibrated my watch 5 minutes earlier. 

Revolutionized transportation by suggesting a 4-stroke combustion engine mounted to a steel chassis with alloy wheels and rubberized tires would be quicker than a horse drawn buggy. The anti-Mennonite faction nodded in approval. 

Enrolled in Carleton University in honours Legal Studies program. Evokes winces from party goers who must be instructed that "A) No! It's not law school! and B) No! I'm not a bloody lawyer! And C) Gin and Tonic? Yes. Thank you!" 

Racing Experience:

Undisputed Tricycle King of 1972 after setting a blistering 16th of a mile barn storming beeline for the Elliot's driveway come hell or high water, hence the flameproof suit and pontoons. 

1986 Non-Intoxicated Karting Champion of Wassaga Beach. 

Stunt driver for the Mad Max cult films. You know the part when Mel gets out of the car after the Night Rider's big wreck and says "Holy frijolis!" Well that's me, ducking behind the dashboard.

Received a call from the Richard Spenard Racing School that they were interested in a future up and coming F1 Champion. I said, future? I've already won two world championships. 1981, when I outduelled Mary Primpstein on the proper recitation of the word paleozoologist. And 1987, when Johnny Appleby's Bicentennial Acadian Commeration stamp was ruled counterfeit. I won with a mint Marc Garneau Space Shuttle Commeration and Johnny got detention for the next three weeks.

Were it not for a racing license and a $10 million sponsorship deal, I'd be racing slotcars at this very moment. 

Prognosis: Definite Loony. 

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Elle McPherson
Age: Does it matter?
Nationality: Australian
Residence: In front of the camera

The officially unofficial Spokes-Supermodel of Team Heineken. She's not just a babe, she's also a Superbrain and leading biotechnologist. Here's Elle's current research project: 

"Studies on the role of growth factor signalling in the patterning of the mesoderm and neuroectoderm in Xenopus".

I have been investigating the molecular mechanism of the induction and patterning of the mesoderm and neuroectoderm in the early frog embryo. Recent evidence has shown that peptide growth factors are essential during the formation of the mesoderm in Xenopus. I am now interested in determining how these secreted molecules act in a concerted way, in space and time, to produce a fully organized embryo. It is known that the mesoderm is induced..." Stay tuned for Elle's insight on "Transgenic tadpole expressing GFP from a ubiquitous promoter". 

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